Just Shana: Real Talk * parental guidance is suggested*

Dionne Farris sang it best (if you dont get the reference I direct you to Google what you think the image is...).  I feel just like that right now...up to my head in it for real!

I gave myself a deadline that I am fast approaching, and while I have had many great experiences that many only dream about, experiences dont pay the bills.   Literally.  As I sit here my phone is off, the gas in the car is low and so are the groceries in the fridge.  At the beginning of this week I had the most awesome prospect on the horizon, probably my biggest to date and it fell through...at the eleventh hour, making me lose out on 2 days of my day rate and let me tell you something - my day rate is not low.  So you can understand my excitement and then my complete heartbreak over it not happening.

Heres the thing that no one tells you when you have the bright idea to make it as a makeup artist...this shit is hard.  I mean like real hard.  If you are fully vested in it you can probably liken it to that of being in a relationship with someone who doesnt love you as much as you love them...yeah just like that.  You invest your time trying to prove that you love it, deserve it, will do anything for it, spend a great deal of your money on it, you are all wrapped up in it and after all that you are LUCKY if you even get a call back.  And just like either you or your good girlfriend who wont leave that good for nothing dude who could care less about them, you cant tell yourself/them nothing until one day you/they just snap and say F this, Im out.  After four years I am at that point.

All I want is to make it in the section of the industry that I love, I have the experience and the talent and it just   wont happen like I want it to.  I could blame a number of things - not being as flexible as I would like to be when things come up, other artists undercutting and therefore causing productions to undervalue what makeup + hair can bring to the project, not wanting to continuously kiss ass to get my foot in the door but it would all amount to the same thing - not enough work to go around...or not enough paid work.

I get questions all the time - how did you get the courage to follow your dream, when is the right time to leave your job and pursue your passion full time, etc so on and so forth.  Look, I wish I could tell you the magic answer but the truth is, there isnt one.  Either you are going to do it or you arent and either its going to work or it isnt.  Point blank.  Its real vague because this whole damn thing is vague as fock.  My journey cant be yours cause its mine as random as that sounds.  My uncle told me something a couple of weeks ago - you know how you know you are supposed to be doing something?  Because you are doing it.

I kinda know this is for me - nah fock that I KNOW this is for me.  I havent been as sure about anything else in life but I also know that even if I do continue I HAVE to be smart and find another source of income.  It pains me to say it but I have been sending out resumes all week and not just for makeup positions.  Yes my friends I have decided to fall back on my Communications degree and Administrative background as well.  So by this time next month a number of things could be going on.  I have never held back before and I wont start now, so whatever happens I will keep you posted.

I had to take a break from my posts/vids about makeup because I look a mess.  Dried up tears, hair everywhere and no makeup would not be cute on screen but I will be back.  Just wanted you all to know whats what.  Especially those who saw my Facebook post yesterday.

*UPDATE* Even before I could finish this post I received a call about setting up an interview for a Full Time job...that call was bittersweet...

Recents and Randoms as of Nov 2...

Though I've been on a blogging hiatus I have been trying to be mindful of documenting my adventures in pictures, or at least somewhat.  Here are a few for your perusal, enjoy!

date night with "the sig"

Ladies Night Out with Naima

that blemish was killing me!

bridal client look

time to leave my "pity party" look

on our days off, we practice!  love my team :)

one of my mannequins...and no I didnt do her makeup or brows!

she wanted an updo lol

her formal style and some of my tools

and the front!

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 30

Day 30 – A photograph of yourself today + three good things that have happened in the past 30 days.

Its a particularly good eyebrow day so I gave you two photos instead of one ( I was examining my nails)  :)

Three good things that have happened in the past 30 days:

• I wrapped my 4th film as the key artist!
• Got serious about working out and shed about ten pounds!
• was able to re-eval my home/work/life balance which resulted in more QT with the fam

Well, to the beat of my own drum I finally made it to the end of the 30 day blog challenge!  I am glad that I participated because it allowed for a lot of reflection and gave me a chance to share more about myself with you guys.  I was challenged indeed but I had fun as well so thanks to Erin over at Scandalous Beauty for putting out the call.  I am glad I was able to inspire some other bloggers to participate!  

I actually just came across another challenge that I am contemplating joining but I will take a break between the two, heck I am still trying to finish the dern YouTube challenge!  If you want to go back in time and see all the posts I did in this challenge just click here.

Thanks for sticking with me through it!

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 29

Day 29 – Something you could never get tired of doing. 

Aside from the exorbitant amount of debt it brings, I could stay in school forever.  

 

Of course I could say I never tire of being a makeup artist, blogger or writer, mother, etc. but I wouldn't be able to wear any of those hats without acquiring the necessary knowledge.  

 

I am an eternal student.  There is a certain rush that comes with the discovery of new information, at least for me.  

 

It is my inner geek spreading her wings so to speak.

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 28

Day 28 – Your favorite movie.

For as long as I can remember I have had a love affair with old hollywood.  When Blockbuster was thriving (dont laugh) I would go get my snacks from Giant and a stack of old black and white movies and I would hole up in my room and watch them all day long, sometimes all weekend.  Of course this was before I became a mom and now I would be lucky to get an hour of alone time, forget about a whole day!  This was probably around the time that I was 18 or 19 years old so I find it hard to narrow down to just one favorite movie.  I will instead share a few of my favs and why I love them in no particular order...

Alistair Sim's A Christmas Carol - this movie is one that has a sentimental meaning for me.  Almost every Christmas Eve my maternal grandmother would break out the VHS of this movie for us to watch.  Back then I thought they talked funny but I was still pulled all the way in to the film.  I can appreciate the elaborate dialogue as well as the fanciful costumes.  This movie was recently done as an animated remake with Jim Carrey as the lead and I need to watch it in its entirety because a lot of the elements from the original were there.

Dark Victory - Bette Davis is one of my most fav actresses.  She always played the gutsy, take charge heroine who tolerated no BS...EXCEPT in this film.  Now dont get me wrong, initially she is that quintessential Ms. Davis that we all know but you begin to see her vulnerability as the movie progresses.  She becomes more human.

All About Eve - again Bette Davis but THIS is classic Bette Davis right here.  Hate it or love it she battles all the way to the end even when she is absolutely wrong for her antics. 

Imitation of Life - This image is the one with Lana Turner, there are two versions of this movie and surprisingly I enjoy both, but this one I think may be my fav only by a tiny bit.  I felt the emotion come through much more in this version.

Mahogany - one of my earliest memories of amazing fashion and beauty.  This movie never gets old and each time I am near a tv and its on I am immediately transfixed.

Rear Window - In my eyes Alfred Hitchcock can do no wrong.  Do yourself a favor and watch some of his old movies, especially the black and white ones, they will not disappoint.  You still get elements of old hollywood glam but with clever little inserts of humor and unexpected twists and turns.  His movies for me are the equivalent of a cinematic roller coaster ride that keep me thinking and on the edge of my seat the entire time.

Breakfast at Tiffanys - I mean what can I say that I am sure has already been said about this iconic movie and actress.  I adore Audrey Hepburn and while I havent seen ALL of her movies, I have seen most of them.  It never gets old.

So thats it, hope you enjoyed and better still I hope you, if you havent already, take the time to check out these films.  You will not be disappointed.

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 27

Day 27 – A picture of you last year and now and how have you changed since then? 

late July/early August 2010

November 2010

Late July 2011

Monday August 8, 2011

I weigh a bit less

My hair is much longer

My skin is more clear

I could go on but I wont

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 26

Day 26 – A photo of somewhere you’ve been to.

photo c/o Naima aka FancyLibra27 (check out her blog and YT channel)

Each year our group of friends will take a trip.  In recent years, well really each year, it is hard to get everyone to go at the same time (i.e. in this pic two of the crew are missing).  In this picture we are in Arizona.  Yes it is hot in AZ BUT we had just finished an I dont know how long hot pink jeep ride up the mountains for a tour and it was freezing!  But it was so worth it - do you see that view?  

This was by far one of THE best trips we have ever taken.  We had great waiting to exhale moments and I hope we can come together soon for another trip of that same caliber.

In case you are wondering (L to R - me, Ebbony aka 2d, Attia aka Cookie, Naima (as referenced above) and Keisha aka Kesh)

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 25

Day 25 – What’s in your purse?

An easier question to answer may be what ISN'T in my purse?!  Mind you I slightly tried to clean it out in order to take the pic so it was a lot worse...oy...

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 24

Day 24 – A photo of something that means a lot to you.

Ive said it before and i will say it again, family is important to me.

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 23

Day 23 – 15 facts about you

1. I am 5 ft 7 in tall, and up until I turned maybe 18 I was considered tall, then all of a sudden I was short...and I found that very odd
2. I am the only girl and the only single out of my siblings...I have two sets of twin brothers
3. Twins run on both sides of my family, maternal and paternal so I was scared I would have twins, but I didnt, yay!  and so far neither have my brothers...again odd...
4. I have 3 tattoos, and I hate all but one of them...stay tuned for the post when I get 2 of them covered...
5. I used to have serious stage fright, and I do still kinda but now I get a rush from the panic, my heart beats really fast, I start to sweat but for some reason I love it!  Catch me doing karaoke and public speaking pretty often
6. I pretty much flunked out of college...the first time.  I did it correctly the second time (Yay FIT!)
7. I have a fear of failure which in turn makes me procrastinate sometimes
8. I have zero patience, once I had kids it went out the window
9. I LOVE to dance, used to do it often, not so much anymore but I really want to do a form of exercise where all you do is the choreography from Beyonce vids the whole time - wouldnt that be fun?  *crickets*
10. I hate driving, anything over an hour and I am done
11. I love to lip sync in the mirror, I think thats why I like karaoke so much
12. I have scoliosis
13. In reference to #12, but I also have a pretty high tolerance for pain
14. in reference to #13, because of that I was able to give birth to my son who was 9lbs and some change with no pain medication...not by choice but I did it
15. I am a loner but love to hang with my girls...oxymoron

You see I fell off again with this challenge, thats because the questions or challenges are getting harder.  This is my feeble attempt at Day 23, but hey at least I got through it.  *whew*

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 22

Day 22 – A letter to someone who has hurt you recently. A letter to someone who broke my heart.

I will be honest with you all, I could write a really long letter for this but I have already wasted enough time and energy on this/these person/people.  You know how you give of yourself, listen to "friends" moan and groan about things and in the name of friendship you are there?  Saw someone I used to know the other day and it was like I was invisible. 

Its funny when you need an ear, a hello, ANYTHING, people get ghost...

Well like I said I refuse to write a letter... 

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 21

Day 21 – A photo of something that makes you happy

collage created using Photovisi

My little ones!  :)  I couldn't pick just one image as you can see. 

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 20

Day 20 – The meaning behind your blog name

my old logo and site design

When I first started my blog back in January of 2009 (wow!) I went with the name Tried & Truth Beauty.  This post explains why I started the blog and why the name but if you do not feel like reading that right now (I invite you to return to it later) then the quick response is I liked to try products and be real about how I felt about the products.

Fast forward to today, over 2 years later and the blog has had a few facelifts (click here to find out why) and I have had a chance to see what works and what does not. (I need to bring back some of those old topics!)  Most importantly I realized that just doing beauty reviews didn't really work for me, nor did it work for my visitors either.  Some like the reviews, some like the makeup artist info, some like to know whats going on with me, some want to know about my loc journey, etc. etc. etc.

So I changed the name to just Shana Janelle.  Its just me, no fluff, no fan fare.  I will cover a number of things on here, mostly beauty but various things will pop up that I want to share.  Hope this explains it!

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 19

Day 19 – Another picture of yourself

celebrating my 18th birthday in Mexico at the Fridays of all places...I was really happy huh?  LOL

yesterday, July 24th, still enjoying my freeforming! (read about it here and here)

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 18

Day 18 – Something you crave a lot

 

Well obviously make up is one thing, more brushes than anything else.  This was my kit from about a year ago.  It has since been even more condensed but you know revamping the kit is a never ending project.

Add to that shoes, seafood, a good glass of wine, oysters on the half shell, peace of mind, a new job...I could go on and on but I wont!  :)

 

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 17

Day 17 – A photo of you and your family

Gotta break this one up a bit until we can get the whole fam in one pic.  

"the sig", kids and I

3 of my brothers (2 sets of twins-1 is taking the pic I think), 2 of my nephews and KO (my son-in the green shirt)

my brothers, son and 1 nephew and mom with me at baby shower (I was pregnant with Sam the girl at the time)

1 set of twin brothers with my dad and I (no my dad and I did not plan the hat thing LOL)

30 Day YouTube Challenge - Day 10 - My Jewelry Box

Not so much a box as it is my attempt at being both creative and functional with storage options, moreso out of necessity.  Hopefully this will help someone with their own storage dilemmas.

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 16

Day 16 – Your celebrity crush

because he is like a fine wine...

because she can really do no wrong - flawless!



30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 15

Day 15 – Something you don’t leave the house without

my cracked up iTouch

and my phone

If I leave either at home I get all shook!  :)